cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
