I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
