i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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