I wish I only lived at night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
