Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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