Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
