it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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