Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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