Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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