Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sext me about skeletons
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
