Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
