So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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