Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
its not stalking. its research.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
