he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
