im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
