Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
