i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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