porn star boner night. come get it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
