You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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