It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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