Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i think i just lost a toe
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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