As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
