I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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