dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
