Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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(561): View more from Florida

Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?

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(310): View more from California

OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face

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(248): View more from Michigan

Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...

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