I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
