2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
