i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
