You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
