if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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