the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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