so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
