Tell her she can't have a vagina
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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