I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
