She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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