Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
3pm strippers are depressing
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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