yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
