i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
