i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
