I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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