The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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