I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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