is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
