I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The struggles of a small town man whore
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
