Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
