p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
