We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
