I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
