I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
