I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
